If people crashing their cars made the news as often as self driving cars crashing, we'd probably want to ban human drivers.

None of the Star Wars planets have different climates in different regions of the planet. It's just like the desert planet, forest planet, ice planet.

Masturbating is really tricking your body into thinking you are succeeding in life.

It would suck to be one of the people who turned 18 the day after the drinking age was raised to 21

If dentists make money off unclean teeth, why would you buy a toothpaste 4/5 of them recommend.

Marijuana is less dangerous than Flint tap water.

For a person with depression, shaving right before you go to your therapist is the equivalent of brushing your teeth right before going to the dentist.

DJ Khaled always records songs that are 90% other singers, then says it’s his song ft. everyone else. He is the celebrity equivalent of the kid who does no work but takes all the credit in a school project.

Lets just thank mother nature, for both pre slicing and pre wrapping oranges.

Judge Judy would be a lot more interesting if she could sentence people to death

Cops would be much more popular if they ran fewer speed traps and pursued more tailgaters and asshats who don't use their blinker.

A kid born today could live an entirely normal life and never physically touch money.

Volleyball is just a really intense version of don’t let the balloon touch the floor

Those 2 MIT grads are really annoying.

The human body is so silent for the amount of things it does

It’s funny how we think of 1900’s through WW2 in black and white but ancient civilizations such as Egypt and Rome in color

Attractive people probably think the world is a lot more polite than it actually is.

An alien race could conquer us by simply asking "Bring us to your leader" and watch from afar while we fight each other to decide who is our leader.

Snapchat has ruined years of hard work trying to get people to film horizontally

Stan Lee's character in the Marvel films seems to be immortal but apparently can't hold down a job.

Services are switching from calling them Private Messages to calling them Direct Messages because they're not private anymore...