Comedy is here to make us forget we’re going to die, drama is here to remind us we’re going to die.

When talking about building a website, I'd correctly say an li tag and a ul tag even though both go against the normal rules of grammar.

We are all weirdly okay with computer cameras needing a way to cover the lens.

Reflecting on the accuracy of a memory makes it less accurate.

Odysseus expects the Spanish Inquisition.

With the internet becoming more and more AI by the day, parents sending their kids to summer camps to get away from the internet might become more frequent.

The adult version of finding out Santa isn't real, is finding out a childhood hero is actually a bad person.

Illegal activities most often involve some sort of penetration.

It must *really* suck to be the guy processing all the ColoGuard tests.

You don't "Bite down" on anything. Your muscles cause your jaw to come up to the top teeth which are essentially fixed in place. But no one ever says "Bite up."

Absolute truths are often merely opinions we’ve elevated to beliefs we cannot bear to see disproven.

If we bred people, the way we breed dogs, what breeds of people would there be?

In the advent of wearables, it is now technically feasible for someone to live out their life and be able to view their ‘stats’ at the end.

Farmers can eat mass produced food made from homegrown ingredients.

Tourists are a perfect example of the Dunning-Kruger effect.

People who have pets may feed them with animals that other people consider pets.

For people who contribute enough to their 401k, at some brief instant it will be worth $401k.

Giving birth means having to push an entire human skeleton out of your body.

Since Wall-E knew how to repair himself, he knows how to repair all the dead Wall-E’s around him but chooses not to.

One good thing about sticking your foot in your mouth all the time is that you can rely on some new terrible thing you said helping you forget about the terrible thing you said that you're obsessing over now.

If the universe is truly infinite, then "originality" is a mathematical impossibility.