Someone remembers something you said and you don’t

Due to the nitrogen cycle, there is a chance your great great grandfather is in you

Every meal a cat eats is a breakfast because they sleep so often.

Cats are the only animal that commonly practices being just close enough to humans to be touched but too far away to be picked up.

The more you do the better it gets. the more you think the less you do.

Toppings infers the existence of Bottomings

People who wear specialized branded clothing are walking adverts

Ironic that we all hate the rich yet simultaneously want to be rich.

The reason Santa only delivers presents once a year is because every other day of the year he goes to other planets delivering presents to kids all throughout the universe.

Every surgery in the Lego world is plastic surgery.

7-Eleven is lucky it didn’t start with the number 9

Those who believe in a flat earth don't tell us what it looks like on the underside.

People who brag about being very generous are some of the biggest narcissists

The car horn is a good example of how the length of just a single note can convey a large range of emotions.

Santa Claus is not a person but rather a memetic effect that compels adults to participate in consumerism.

Dystopia is easy bc we all agree on what’s bad. Utopia is hard bc we can’t envision it.

Not a single member of the Beatles was attractive. Fellas, you just need to be really good at a specific skill

All digital art is pixel art. Some just has more pixels than others.

For some reason, zoos never include moose.

Marvel released almost an entire cinematic universe in between the two Avatar movies.

Kids in tropical countries don't get Santa's gifts cuz we don't have freaking chimneys