The mailman has never been inside your house, so as far as your dog knows the barking is working.

We celebrate the idea of individuality and uniqueness as a society but shame anyone who is actually truly unique in real life.

The murderer who killed Batman's parents saved many lives by creating Batman. Batman killed many people by refusing to kill Joker.

Despite practicing every single day, it doesn’t always get easier falling asleep at night.

Making peace with bad things in your life is great until you do it too often and realize how screwed up your life is

Starting a conversation on a dating app is becoming less about opening with a joke and more about opening with a Touring Test.

You can be kept awake by worrying about being unable to fall asleep

If Earth is any indication, there's an unimaginable amount of eating and reproducing going on out there in the universe

Microscopes show us how big we are and telescopes show us how small.

Volcanoes release gases and solid substances hence they are butt holes of Earth.

We may eventually see gangsta rap being played in nursing homes for the people who grew up listening to it

We’re constantly racing with mushroom spores to eat our own food before they do

As AI art becomes more and more indistinguishable from regular art, the most respected artists will end up being the ones who record themselves in the process

Tradition is peer-pressure from dead people

There's only one very short moment when you're truly x years old.

The internet is so crazy bad for us; it’s like smoking but for mental health.

Socially awkward people tend to be either too concerned or not concerned enough about what other people think.

When watching pets perform tricks for food keep in mind if you live independently you’ve been taught the same thing with extra steps.

The reason why nearly every game trailer starts with shot of the ocean is that the CGI artist want to show off how cool they can create water.

Smartwatches have somehow normalised going to sleep with a watch on

The fact that electronics isn’t waterproof will be seen as extremely primitive in the future.