Little people are the most trustworthy by the definition of trusting someone as far as you can throw them

You only have one birthday, the rest are congratulations for surviving.

Nerds in labs are depicted with glasses because contacts are not allowed

At some point our parents stopped keeping track of our bowel movements.

Being a truck driver for a company that transports eggs must be an extremely stressful job

Dawn commercials be washing everything but dishes. Idon’t have any greasy duck.

Only at grandmas house will you find insecticide and coffee creamer in the same cabinet

Social media will let you watch someone’s life evolve in front of your eyes without you knowing them.

Even if you only use healthy items on a burger, people still consider it unhealthy, simply because it's a burger.

Being rude to people serving you food and drinks is not only a sign of disrespect but also of incredible stupidity.

A lot of holidays aren't even celebrated for their original purpose anymore, people just want an excuse to get an evening off and have some fun

Creating a family is not family-friendly

We have to figure out where to put more than 8 billion dead bodies over the next 80ish years

J. Jonah Jameson is a man trying to destroy a spider with a newspaper.

Child beauty pageants are more dangerous than drag story hours.

They person who came up with the word for Fireplaces really didn’t put in much effort.

You’re either non-binary or you’re not

If your food says "Enjoy" at the end of the cooking instructions, you can't complain to the company if you didn't like it, since you technically didn't follow the instructions.

People think old technology was terrible, but we still made it to the moon over 50 years ago

The point at which you stop being poor is when it’s harder to get rid of old stuff than it is to get new stuff

In math, multiplication and division are opposites, but for a cell they're the same