1000 Terabyte hard drives full of data, weigh the same as 1000 Terabyte hard drives with no data.

Society: Singing to yourself = good. Talking to yourself = bad.

Figuring out which plants were poisonous before modern science must have involved lots of corpses.

We spend our childhood wishing we were older, only to get old and wish we were younger.

Texting is kind of like a step backwards, because instead of calling and talking to someone you write them a letter.

Good health is the very slowest way to die.

Pets in first world countries have better lives than poor people in third world countries can imagine

Getting old takes years of practice.

It's not that everything was better when you were a child you just didn't have to deal with grown-up-problems

A deaf person in handcuffs lost its right to free speech

You've probably inadvertently made hundreds, if not thousands of people decide whether to fart or to hold it, simply by walking in their vicinity.

Using a gallon of paint to paint a room removes a gallon of usable volume from that room.

A semicolon is larger than a colon.

Some people piss into much cleaner water than others will ever drink.

Lisa Simpson plays the saxophone very well for a girl with only four fingers on each hand.

Eating spicy food is socially accepted self-harm

The Sun has orbited the Milky Way only 20 times

Using your microwave to soften overly frozen ice cream from your freezer is perhaps the greatest example of decadent civilization.

Paying for a subscription service and then having to purchase movies on that platform is the epitome of stupidity.

At some point quite recently, we all decided that kitchen aprons don't need to be a thing anymore

Somewhere in the world lies a rock that has never been touched by a living creature.