Getting the wrong order sucks a lot more when you are a death row inmate waiting for the last meal

Jim Henson was the Master of Puppets

People watch the news to see if things are getting better, but the news only tells you things are getting worse.

Video games are the DLC's of life.

Golf carts can be considered sports cars.

Cartoonists figured out the banana-peeling life hack before the rest of us did. Banana peels in cartoons always have the stem in the middle of the peel instead of at one of the ends.

You can probably remember all of the refrigerators you’ve had in your life

Somewhere there is an industrial nacho cheese production facility with giant vats of liquid cheese to support taco bell and movie theaters.

You hear a lot of debates about pineapple on pizza, while other toppings aren't controversial at all

Every hairdresser who ruined your hair has a bunch of regular clients.

4 syllables is 4 syllables

90% of all drug dealers get their drugs from other drug dealers

Even though his skin is impenetrable to bullets Superman must still hate getting one in the nads.

The closest we’ve come as a species to finding the Fountain of Youth is the affects of childhood trauma.

Fishes don't know they're wet

After we die, our inboxes will continue to accumulate junk mail until they are completely full.

No one ever looks they are having fun playing poker.

The older you get, the less likely you are to take someone’s virginity.

Homo Sapiens is the only species of Ape that is not endangered

There are blind birds

Life won't reward you for being a good person. But it doesn't seem to punish people for being an a-hole either.