If you had a dollar for every woman that found you unattractive, you'd soon be attractive.

The difference between a million dollars and a billion is kind of like blowing up the moon or blowing up the Sun. The common person has no chance at ever achieving either so they seem kind of the same but when you really look into it they are very very different.

It feels like human civilization is a race that didn't do the tutorial and skipped the cutscenes. As if someone was being told what to do and the meaning of life thousands of years ago and just kept pressing 'x'.

It’s socially accepted to carry around a bag of shit as long as you have a dog with you.

The biggest problem with conspiracy theories is that some are true

There are more movies about animals in Africa than there are about people in Africa.

If you're finding that the ads you see are never relevent to your interests, you're probably doing something right.

anything is a UFO if you are bad at identifying stuff

You probably met someone who killed someone.

The average penis size is probably much smaller than we know due to men being dishonest about their size

Kind of nuts how society has collectively agreed that it's just okay for 16 year olds to operate automobiles. People are fucking morons at 16. All of us were.

Randomly hearing your favorite song on the radio is more pleasing than putting it on manually

If digital pictures are a combination of 1 and 0, all possible photos already exist, even they haven’t been taken yet, and we need to find the right code to see them.

You are made of a skeleton that is filled with organs, then stuffed in another bag full of organs. What is the bag you ask? Also an organ

One day they’re going to join all these streaming services together for one fixed price and essentially release cable again

Parenting is a job that most people don't have the skills to do it yet they try to do it anyway

When half a society is brainwashed, both halves will be convinced the other half is brainwashed.

Every person to ever live was the fastest in the one race where it counted

No matter how happy you are with life, a really bad stomachache is enough to make you wish for death.

Most people think of water as a liquid but it's most common form in the universe is probably ice.

Public swimming pools touch the buttholes of everyone who don’t wipe/wash properly. We’re swimming in butthole soup.