Subway measures footlongs like men measure penises.

If you send everybody who is horny to horny jail then you have a building full of horny people so it isn’t effective

Considering it's very difficult to get humans to agree on anything, it's quite impressive how many of us agree to stop at red lights.

If humans had evolved to have four digits on each hand instead of five, our number systems would likely be base 8 instead of base 10.

It is not taking a shit, it is leaving one.

The fact that a frequent nightmare of many people is being back in school says a lot about the education system.

The fact that not all humans are extremely obese is impressive when you consider how any other animal would end up with an unlimited food supply

Gray is the least desirable color of food

Timezones are going to be very odd once we start to make colonies in other planets

Figuring out what you're going to have for dinner every day for the rest of your life is overwhelming

A book is one of the last ad-free entertainment object.

If you have sex with someone, and they become a porn star later, you've given them on-the-job training.

Being wanted is so much better than being needed

A comb has teeth to brush your hair and a toothbrush has hair to brush your teeth

The generation that complains about these kids always on their phones is the generation that created these kids and their phones

The objective of golf is to play less golf

You cannot use drugs in olympics but you can use make up & surgery to win miss world and beauty contests.

Humans spend billions on movies about saving the world but no one spends billions in real life saving the world.

2 persons born in 2000 and 2002 can have closer birthdays than 2 persons born in 2000 and 2001

If you had a dollar for every woman that found you unattractive, you'd soon be attractive.

The difference between a million dollars and a billion is kind of like blowing up the moon or blowing up the Sun. The common person has no chance at ever achieving either so they seem kind of the same but when you really look into it they are very very different.