Maybe the grass seems greener on the other side because you’re not over there fucking it up.

Humans have been sucking on more breasts as adults than as babies.

It's a miracle that Apple still used the QWERTY keyboard and hasn't switched it to something new every few years

Finding something you like with no one to share it with is true loneliness

People wearing pajamas in public have either given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Croissants are the demascus steel of pastries

Having sex under a weighted blanket is an extra workout.

When men play hard to get, it makes women want them more, but when women play hard to get, men think they aren’t interested.

Our smart watches may pretend that they don't, but they ABSOLUTELY know when we masturbate.

as a adult you can just buy a cake even when its not ur birthday and eat the whole thing no one can stop you

People making noise while they eat is incredibly aggravating to an excruciating degree but animals crunching on food is adorable and videos about with them eating are wonderful

Fucking a cooked chicken is both necrophilia and zoophilia.

It's ironic that the Vikings became the most peaceful modern countries (Nordic countries like Sweden and Denmark)

If you refuse to have a baby, then you're probably stopping thousands of people being born.

the average guy is probably better at giving a handjob than the average girl

Subway measures footlongs like men measure penises.

If you send everybody who is horny to horny jail then you have a building full of horny people so it isn’t effective

Considering it's very difficult to get humans to agree on anything, it's quite impressive how many of us agree to stop at red lights.

If humans had evolved to have four digits on each hand instead of five, our number systems would likely be base 8 instead of base 10.

It is not taking a shit, it is leaving one.

The fact that a frequent nightmare of many people is being back in school says a lot about the education system.