Your tongue is the only organ in your body that can be outside of your body whenever it wants.

Men see much more urine in their lives than women

When you're a man everyone is cautious of you until you prove you're not a psycho. When you're a woman everyone is friendly to you until you prove you are a psycho

A shart is a fart with pulp

Minimalist design has ruined so many once cool as hell looking company logos.

Judging sex workers for what they do is frowned upon, judging those who pay sex workers for their services however is okay for some reason.

Too many birthdays will kill you

There are approximately 4 people on Earth who are the same age as you to the second… but not all of them have the same birthday as you.

women covering their private parts with something like whipped cream is seen as sexy, however if a man does the same its weird as hell

A lot of people who wake up from comas are probably terrified of having to go to sleep just a few hours afterwards in fear of slipping back in.

Ancient peoples would lose their minds if they found out we salted our streets every winter.

The Joker probably killed more of his henchmen than citizens.

Maybe you are actually mentally handicapped but you don’t realize it because you are mentally handicapped.

Being new at a job feels like you're a new character on season 5 of a show

If it wasn't for the nipples, oversized fake boobs would look like oversized fake butt cheeks.

If we get extinct, the future civilization will be confused finding the dinosaurs fossils from museums in the same geological era as us

Vengeance is way closer to justice than forgiveness

If you drank from the glass, it’s half empty. if you fill the glass, it’s half full.

If you sit on your own voodoo doll, you'll never be able to stand up

If kid's movies stopped featuring high maintenance purebreds we'd have far less dogs in shelters

Getting older is nowhere near as scary as your parents getting older.