Ironically, the signs that your partner needs sex (moody, snaps at you, grouchy) are also turns offs for a lot of people.

people who are depressed because of their financial struggles can’t get therapy to help because of how expensive it is

The longer you don’t pee, the longer you pee.

If you can't remember what happened before you were born, there's no reason to worry about what happens when you die.

The moment we will have a civilization on mars companies are going to sell oxygen and make it as expensive as insulin

More than a six pack of beer in the fridge starts to look like a drinking problem, but a whole wine cellar is considered very classy

Someone at Spotify seriously came to the conclusion that a slightly lopsided logo was better than a straight logo.

Every year wall-e becomes more and more realistic.

Trees are the earth's lungs and even look like the bronchus/bronchiole/trachea inside our lungs.

If you attempt to rob a bank, you will have no trouble with food, rent, or bills for the next 10 years regardless of your success.

Dick jokes are considered 'adult jokes' but when adults make dick jokes they're dismissed as childish and immature

Blood bending from avatar the last airbender could cure erectile disfunction

A 36-year-old has spent 18 years as an adult, so they are an adult adult.

Michael Jackson turning white would have created a massive storm if it had happened nowadays

When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.

Some poor soul holds the record for most consecutive red lights stopped at and probably doesn’t know it.

If your fridge is full of beer you look like an alcoholic, but an alcoholic wouldn't have any in their fridge.

Money can only buy happiness if you've actually been poor.

Companies hold new logo creation contests so they don't have to pay graphic designers.

Saying you'd like to fuck a MILF is a highly redundant statement.

The Atoms that comprise our bodies, and surroundings are as old as the universe itself. We may be young in spirit, but the matter that makes us is ancient.