There is a chance that at some point, someone was masturbating when you texted them.

Surgeons are human mechanics

If reincarnation was ever confirmed there would probably be a drastic spike in suicides.

If we made years half as long, we could double life expectancy

The existence of Lil Wayne indicates there is a Regular Sized Wayne and potentially a Big Wayne.

When you injure your index finger, your other fingers get promotions.

Mordor must have restaurants since Orcs are familiar with menus.

There's a pretty good chance someone had sex on the Great Pyramids at least once throughout its 3,800 years of existence.

Scientists work frantically to invent a solar powered carbon capture machine... Y'know like a tree.

In the 21st century, deleting history is more important than creating it

Most influencer’s do what's trendy and don't set any new trend. Therefore, they're not influencers, but influenced

There are so many planets in the universe that at least one of them has to have trees that are shaped like penises

We spent years trying to rid the world of vertically filmed video only for TikTok to come along and destroy any bit of progress that was made.

It’s pretty ironic that ants exist on every continent except Antarctica.

The new norm is everyone is damaged

If you're wearing noise-cancelling headphones and someone has to wave at you to get your attention, you have gone from being voice-activated to being motion-activated.

Freedom is going to bed without an alarm

Someday, aggressively running your hand through someone's butt crack, then saying MasterCard, will make no sense because of chip and tap technology.

For most people. You are one pay check away from being homeless

Spiders are nature's 3d printers.

They generally get a bad rap but sometimes in life ‘material objects’ are all you have and can really help you through.