Most men receive their first flowers on their funeral

Monasteries were groups of men who were supposed to study scripture, but ended up brewing and drinking beer instead. Monasteries were the original collage frats.

Nothing is more disappointing than spending gift money on bills.

Spiderman was selling pics of himself to newspapers. He started onlyfans before it was even a concept. And J Jonah Jameson was the first onlyfans subscriber.

The older you get, the earlier you get happy new year messages

Children, are some of the most psychopathic and merciless creatures in existence.

Saying a painting looks like a photo is a compliment. Saying a photo looks like a painting is a compliment.

Christmas decorations are probably the only holiday decorations that are on display twice a year.

When you're asleep one part of your brain is telling a made up story, while the other part is reacting with surprise

Everyone has genetic code for both a boob size and penis size, but your body only uses one of them

Hamsters never seem to die from natural causes. Everyone always has a crazy story as to what happened to theirs.

A society of workers without Billionaires is possible. A society of Billionaires without workers is not.

Life is a game where babies spawn at level 1 but wouldn’t survive if it weren’t for the other players who cleared high levels of the game and were able to give the new players the resources they needed to level up.

There was a Golden Girls reunion Dec 31, 2021

Brushing your teeth at night is for your own benefit. But brushing them in the morning is largely to benefit others.

Moustaches are eyebrows for the mouth

Most things are cuter when they are furry, but not spiders

Celebratory New Years glasses stopped making sense after 2009

A good teacher will be excited when students correct their errors; a bad one will feel threatened.

Biology classes must be very complicated in the Dr. Seuss universe.

Your every thought has a physical impact on your brain and rest of the body and it lasts till your very end. It may be possible to recreate human thoughts by tracing electrical discharges and released hormones in the organism.