Our stomachs are always full of warm vomit

From the sun's point of view, there are no shadows.

If you dressed someone up like a mime then trapped them inside an actual invisible box, no one would know they’re stuck inside

If not for social media. most of us will be blissfully unaware of how many assholes are out there.

If cat girls were real, they would have eight separate boobs, one for each cat nipple

Weddings are typically a huge waste of money. You spend thousands of dollars on one day when you can elope for free and throw a party for way less.

If we hit 0% unemployment, the employees at the unemployment office would become unemployed

Getting horny and thinking about sex is a perfectly normal human behaviour, in fact it's the most critical part of human survival as a species, there's nothing dirty or filthy about sex.

Play-Doh is such an awesome activity toy that the human brain remembers its scent 20 years after last using it.

Any book worth banning is likely to be a book worth reading

The loss of your dog is exactly the kind of thing your dog would've helped you through

I’ll gladly sit and watch 3 one hour episodes of a show, but am highly reluctant to start any movie longer than 2 hours.

Most men receive their first flowers on their funeral

Monasteries were groups of men who were supposed to study scripture, but ended up brewing and drinking beer instead. Monasteries were the original collage frats.

Nothing is more disappointing than spending gift money on bills.

Spiderman was selling pics of himself to newspapers. He started onlyfans before it was even a concept. And J Jonah Jameson was the first onlyfans subscriber.

The older you get, the earlier you get happy new year messages

Children, are some of the most psychopathic and merciless creatures in existence.

Saying a painting looks like a photo is a compliment. Saying a photo looks like a painting is a compliment.

Christmas decorations are probably the only holiday decorations that are on display twice a year.

When you're asleep one part of your brain is telling a made up story, while the other part is reacting with surprise