If there was a monster underneath your bed that you had reason to fear, you’d be dead already.

Somewhere, there is an object placed by someone, that holds the world record for not ever being moved by anyone since it was placed.

No matter what color a bread tie is, it becomes perfectly camouflaged once it hits a countertop.

If Spider-Man lived in our reality, people would probably take his web remains from buildings and sell it on Ebay.

If unicorns were real, they would have been hunted to extinction.

Celebrities would probably be afraid of their biggest fan.

Every year we celebrate coming out of our moms vagina.

The letter B is P but pregnant.

Flintstones had no reason to have a Christmas Celebration.

Stairs are floors with extra steps.

Considering Mosquitos are the #1 killer of humans and humans have been engineering ways to devastate the mosquito population, the two species could be considered each others mortal enemy

Most of Marios enemies never actually attack him, they just pace around going about their day.

If you shuffle a new deck of cards long enough, at some point it will come back to the exact same order.

Watching people have sex is creepy but watching porn is normal

People born in 1999 have high chances of seeing 3 centuries.

Porn has got so normalized, that the first thing which comes to mind when we hear BBC is not the news channel

If you had an indestructible ball that was a perfect sphere, it would probably leave dents on hard surfaces because of the infinitely small contact point causing infinite pressure until the surface yields and the contact area gets bigger

Money doesn't buy happiness, working remote does.

We find many furless animals, such as mole rats, Sphinx cats, and snakes gross or ugly, even though that’s essentially what humans are

The thing that sucks about being poor is how expensive it is.

dog breeding is an animal trafficking/prostitution ring.