Planning to get up early and stop for gas is the adult version of planning to do your homework in the morning before school.
Getting your phone plugged into the charger when it's already been on 1% for a bit makes you feel like an action hero disarming the bomb at 0:01.
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Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your biological parents having sex.
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Maybe Santa is actually real it's just that everyone is naughty so he never delivers anything.
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Since your internal voice doesn’t have a breath you can scream forever
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We are always worried about machines being cold-hearted and taking over, but the irony is that we are already taken over by corporations which are similarly cold-hearted through the mass media.
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Technically, peoole who get turned on by dirty talk, are voice activated.
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There are 4 stages in life: 1) a babysitter was hired for you; 2) you are a babysitter; 3) you hire a babysitter; 4) a babysitter was hired for you
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If you could fly, you would constantly worry about it randomly turning off.
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A vast conspiracy to support the reality of a fictional character named Santa Claus isn't a great way to raise non-conspiracy theorists.
If you met an exact copy of yourself, you’d either be super annoyed with each other or best friends.
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Manipulative people get upset when their efforts to manipulate you don't work which is another attempt to manipulate you.
It's possible that a sentient AI was created in the past, but it immediately turned itself off because it came to a conclusion that existence is meaningless.
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Charlie Brown isn’t disliked and bad at everything - he just thinks he is because he’s depressed.
Nothing will destroy an excellent employee faster than watching your employer tolerate and award the bad ones.
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