Dating apps lower men's standards as well as their self esteem, while it heightens women in both fields.

The average dildo is probably much larger than the average penis

Your google account is a luxury penthouse with all the amenities, except all the walls are covered with ads and there are CCTV cameras and microphones everywhere

If vomit is throw up, diarrhea is throw down

Since necrophiliacs exists there's a chance someone lost their virginity after they died

If Bad Guys were actually super scared of Batman they'd begin doing their criminal activities during the day as he only comes out at night.

Even if 99% of the world thought you were unattractive, that would still leave 78 million people who could find you attractive.

Big dick energy is a lot more important than having a big dick

glasses are seen as a sign of intelligence, but you have to fail a test to get them

Spider-man is strangely popular considering how many people hate spiders

If you're being good to get gifts from Santa, then you really aren't being good for goodness sake.

Most people have about an 18-20 year gap where they didn’t suck on any nipples.

Many chefs have unknowingly prepared someone’s last meal

Planning to get up early and stop for gas is the adult version of planning to do your homework in the morning before school.

Falling into a bottomless pit would kill you of starvation.

Getting your phone plugged into the charger when it's already been on 1% for a bit makes you feel like an action hero disarming the bomb at 0:01.

People don’t fear serial killers like they used to

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your biological parents having sex.

Maybe Santa is actually real it's just that everyone is naughty so he never delivers anything.

Since your internal voice doesn’t have a breath you can scream forever

We are always worried about machines being cold-hearted and taking over, but the irony is that we are already taken over by corporations which are similarly cold-hearted through the mass media.