Blue light is hotter than red light.

Danish is actually just Arnold Schwarzenegger reading Norwegian out loud

Whenever you see a weeping willow tree, you're looking at mourning wood.

Planned Obsolescence has basically made us buy the same thing every two years or so because companies decided having robust, long lasting items that can easily be repaired wasn't making them enough money.

Dad jokes get better the worse they are.

You've probably seen an animal on the last day of it's life

Non-picky eaters are more likely to eat ass than picky eaters

Orange is the only color to have a confirmed taste, texture, and scent.

Some girls go through a phase where they hate pink, but almost no guys go through a phase where they hate blue.

Your dog’s great, great, great grandparents lived in the 1990s.

Male reindeers lose their horns in the winter. Caribou don’t. So either all of Santa’s reindeer are females, or they’re all male caribou.

Rudolf shouldn’t have guided the sleigh for a bunch of characters who weren’t nice to him till they needed something.

Banks use our deposited money to provide loans to others. Yet WE pay interest to borrow from the bank.

When you see attractive people having sex scenes in movies or tv shows set in the distant past, you gotta realize that they almost certainly smelled TERRIBLE. Middle Ages, Wild West, etc. They all had gross teeth and smelled awful. Even the wealthy and powerful.

Being disrupted by an ad when you're enjoying something online actually makes you hate the product rather than want to buy it.

No electricity, you die, too much electricity, you die

Kevin Mcallister committed far more felonies than the Wet Bandits ever did.

sewing is weird. it's just stabbing cloth with smaller cloth until it's clothes.

A girl who owns fake cat ears is probably just trying to be quirky and cute. A girl who owns a bunny ear headband probably just had an old school halloween costume at some point. A girl who owns fake fox ears is definitely into some shit.

Everyone looks at their own poops afterward.

Paleontologists missed a golden opportunity by not calling the dinosaur-ending rock a disasteroid.