None of us consented to being born

Someone with good drawing ability can make nude drawing of his/her crush and jerk off to it

Seven billion people don’t even know you exist.

Your wife is your ex-girlfriend...

There's a surprisingly low amount of Adam and Eve porn.

Classic cars only look better than modern cars, because we trashed the ugly ones and kept the cool ones.

Anything that flies is a UFO if you're dumb enough.

Using a wooden dildo is cross-species necrophilia

Someone around the world is begging to have the life you’re living.

Carrying pizza in public always looks like you’re showing off.

If you switch to to the other side of the street to avoid bumping into someone you don't want to talk to, you're the chicken who crossed the road

People enjoy watching other people having sex, but don't really like watching people do anything else intimate...there's no cuddlehub or makeouthub.

Humans drink milk that is intended to grow a baby cow into an animal that weighs 1500 pounds

Given there are 7.8 billion people on earth roughly, the chances of you having an original thought is extremely slim.

If you pick up a rock and throw it into the ocean, you might be the last person to ever touch that rock

Santa Clause is pretty evil the way he gives the rich kids more and better presents than the poor kids.

People who take a shit in full view of general public are not giving a shit and giving a shit simultaneously.

The E and Y in the word ‘envy’ are silent

in a perfect world, lawyers wouldnt exist

A pet rock is a great pet, until you realized its essentially immortal, and you have damned it to an eternity of watching loved ones die.

If animals could talk, bestiality rates would probably increase.