If everyone drove through green lights like they were yellow a lot more people would get through the lights.

The real hero is the first guy who looked at a wolf and saw a pet

It is often not acceptable to be disgusted by certain groups of humans, but acceptable to be disgusted by humanity as a whole.

If you are going to be murdered one day, odds are that you already know the person who is going to do it.

Harry Potter to people born in 90s is what Star Wars is to people born in 70s

Porcupines must be delicious, or they wouldn’t need their quills for protection.

General Mills could gain insane amounts of good press by hiring the striking Kellogg's workers and agreeing to their union deal.

A fetish might be the reason you exist

Sign language is the missed opportunity to have made a universal language across the world.

We kill each other arguing over what happens when you die.

You can't actually buy HOT pockets—They're cold pockets... you need to supply the heat yourself. Don't succumb to Nestle's web of lies.

Carnivores love animals too, just a little differently.

You will be pissed off regardless of whether you wake up before, during, or after your alarm sounds.

The most pleasurable things in life involve things either going into or coming out of your body

The pyramids are still standing in Egypt because it wasn't feasible for the Brits to take them to England.

The snooze button is one hell of a drug.

Practice makes perfect but waking up never gets any easier

There's no way to feel dumber than not being able to pass the tutorial level of a game.

Being born increases the chances of death by 100%

Year-end recaps are a cheeky way for companies to tell you they collect and store your data.

Useless facts are the most interesting facts