As a child, it seemed like parents had eyes on the back of their heads. As adults, it’s clear that little kids are extremely predictable
Most of the trash you see on the ground is unhealthy food packaging because people who don’t care about their own health don’t care about the Earth’s either.
Part of growing up is realizing that most love songs are painfully naive.
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As a kid, you are bullied by people who don't like you, and your friends are nice. Once you're older, you're bullied by your friends and people who don't like you are nice
The banana is no longer the food item that looks most phone-like. The pop tart is.
Vampires sure do dress well for creatures that can’t see themselves in a mirror
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If everyone drove through green lights like they were yellow a lot more people would get through the lights.
It is often not acceptable to be disgusted by certain groups of humans, but acceptable to be disgusted by humanity as a whole.
If you are going to be murdered one day, odds are that you already know the person who is going to do it.
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Harry Potter to people born in 90s is what Star Wars is to people born in 70s
Porcupines must be delicious, or they wouldn’t need their quills for protection.
General Mills could gain insane amounts of good press by hiring the striking Kellogg's workers and agreeing to their union deal.
Sign language is the missed opportunity to have made a universal language across the world.
You can't actually buy HOT pockets—They're cold pockets... you need to supply the heat yourself. Don't succumb to Nestle's web of lies.
You will be pissed off regardless of whether you wake up before, during, or after your alarm sounds.
The most pleasurable things in life involve things either going into or coming out of your body
The pyramids are still standing in Egypt because it wasn't feasible for the Brits to take them to England.