The voice in our head is more fluent in English than when we speak it
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The internet was meant to bring people closer together, but it's done exactly the opposite.
If you see Gordon Ramsay in the same restaurant as you, you either have great taste or horrible taste.
There’s nothing more annoying than having to sit through an ad for a service you already pay for.
The homeless guy who burned down the fox newd Christmas tree earned himself 3 meals a day and a place to stay. Smart thinking on his part
A Ouija board is for ages 8 and up. So the drinking age is 21 but you only have to be 8 to summon the devil.
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If the Earth is flat, maybe the dinosaurs live on the other side and we keep digging up their dead and buried.
As a child, it seemed like parents had eyes on the back of their heads. As adults, it’s clear that little kids are extremely predictable
Most of the trash you see on the ground is unhealthy food packaging because people who don’t care about their own health don’t care about the Earth’s either.
Part of growing up is realizing that most love songs are painfully naive.
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As a kid, you are bullied by people who don't like you, and your friends are nice. Once you're older, you're bullied by your friends and people who don't like you are nice
The banana is no longer the food item that looks most phone-like. The pop tart is.
Vampires sure do dress well for creatures that can’t see themselves in a mirror
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If everyone drove through green lights like they were yellow a lot more people would get through the lights.
It is often not acceptable to be disgusted by certain groups of humans, but acceptable to be disgusted by humanity as a whole.
If you are going to be murdered one day, odds are that you already know the person who is going to do it.
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Harry Potter to people born in 90s is what Star Wars is to people born in 70s