Getting promoted never makes you the boss, just someone else’s bitch
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If you have sex in Denver, or anywhere else above 5,280 feet in elevation, you're a member of the Mile High Club
We hate it when are alarm clock goes off, but we also hate it when it doesn’t
Gen Z might be the last generation to learn about WWII while there are WWII veterans alive
It’s strange how so many people claim they care about mental health yet avoid eye contact with the homeless
One reason why parents try to achieve their own dreams through their children is because they gave up on their own dreams trying to raise the child
It isn’t a compliment to ask someone if they fell from Heaven, because so did Satan
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It's much more acceptable to hate all the people based on them being human, than to hate a certain group of people based on their traits.
The human population is so large that no matter what casual hobby you have, there is likely someone who is an expert at it
The Simpsons didn't predict the future, it's just that we are ruining our future so much that it seems like a satire cartoon
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Christmas is the only birthday when the focus is not on the person who was born.
Odds are, someone has a crush on you. Therefore, odds are that someone you know is masturbating to you on a regular basis.
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Everyone argues about pizza toppings but it’s the quality of the dough, cheese, and sauce that makes the pizza good or not.
When a dog licks it’s own penis it is normal but when a human does it , it is impressive
You wake up after dying in a dream, because your brain doesn't know what happens after death...
Most bomb defusal in action movies could be prevented if the villain use the same color for all of the bombs’ cables.
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If Hell really is below us in the fiery bowels of Earth , then everybody who has gone there is actually helping keep us all safe by doing that whole eternal burning thing, which keeps the core hot and rotating, and gives us a magnetic field that protects the living from radiation.