The easiest way to lose weight is to start cooking for yourself

Millions of people wake up at the exact same second from using their cell phone as an alarm clock.

Getting promoted never makes you the boss, just someone else’s bitch

If you have sex in Denver, or anywhere else above 5,280 feet in elevation, you're a member of the Mile High Club

We hate it when are alarm clock goes off, but we also hate it when it doesn’t

Gen Z might be the last generation to learn about WWII while there are WWII veterans alive

It’s strange how so many people claim they care about mental health yet avoid eye contact with the homeless

One reason why parents try to achieve their own dreams through their children is because they gave up on their own dreams trying to raise the child

Even the most literate beings can't describe a color.

It's a shame so much morning wood goes to waste.

It isn’t a compliment to ask someone if they fell from Heaven, because so did Satan

It's much more acceptable to hate all the people based on them being human, than to hate a certain group of people based on their traits.

Somebody’s mom has probably used you as a bad example to their kid

The human population is so large that no matter what casual hobby you have, there is likely someone who is an expert at it

The Simpsons didn't predict the future, it's just that we are ruining our future so much that it seems like a satire cartoon

Christmas is the only birthday when the focus is not on the person who was born.

Today’s date is the exact same backwards. 12/1/21

Odds are, someone has a crush on you. Therefore, odds are that someone you know is masturbating to you on a regular basis.

Everyone argues about pizza toppings but it’s the quality of the dough, cheese, and sauce that makes the pizza good or not.

When a dog licks it’s own penis it is normal but when a human does it , it is impressive

You wake up after dying in a dream, because your brain doesn't know what happens after death...