we have machines that detect stuff billions of light years away but we don't have microwaves with an option to turn off the beeps
The world's greatest barber is the only person who can't get the world's greatest haircut.
The better a woman looks in her clothes, the more you want to remove them
If history has taught us anything, it is that no one will learn from it
A lot of people will die without ever seeing the inside of a public girls or boys restroom
The Title of the youngest person alive is instantly taken away from you, but the Title of the oldest man alive sticks with you for the rest of your life
People don't lose their ability to distinguish what's cool and what's embarrassing as they age. They lose the ability to give a shit.
Rich people really try to make poor people feel bad about being victims of a corrupt system they helped create
Being a centaur and having to hide a random boner must be complicated.
If you can only last 2 minutes in doggy style position, that’s actually 14 minutes in dog minutes.
Faking kindness is more productive in society than being a brutally honest asshole.
Telling someone to "put the freezer on the lowest setting" will result in two completely different outcomes, both of which are technically correct, while also being incorrect depending on who you ask.
The more clothes you wear, the hotter you are. The fewer clothes you wear, the hotter you are.
It's possible that people legitimately began evolving superpowers but the witch hunters killed them all.
There is no way of knowing whether we came from the right or left testicle
Your mother could have gotten pregnant with you from a hardcore BDSM session and you'd never fucking know.