Mirrors don’t break, they multiply

We take it for granted that our buttholes can, with an acceptable degree of accuracy, determine if a fart will contain a surprise or not.

the song” The Drunk Scotsman” is insane, two women find a man passed out in the street, and mess with his dick.

When Tony the Tiger says "They're Great!" he is talking about the kids, not the Frosted Flakes because Tigers eat children, not cereal.

You can learn a lot about someone based off of the expectations they have on their birthday.

Programming is decoding puzzles that were accidentally created by you

"Cat girl", "cat lady", and "cat woman" all evoke a different image

The animation quality of the Itchy and Scratchy show compared to the Simpson's world suggests that Itchy and Scratchy is actually hyper-realistic.

“Your mic is always unmuted” is the “your gun is always loaded” of 2021.

Every mirror you buy is already used.

It's ironic that a socially inept person created and runs the worlds biggest social media platform

Deaf people are probably the ones that moan the loudest.

If recorded history goes back about 5 millennium, and modern humans originated about 200 thousand years ago. What the fuck were we doing those other 195 thousand years.

The most shocking part of switching bodies would probably be the taste in your mouth.

In 1989 Keanu Reeves told us to “Be excellent to each other” and has done exactly that for the past 32 years

The fact that people named Richard go by Dick is so random.

Maturity is realising you don't need to respond to every troll

If the marketing budget of "RAID Shadow Legends" was instead spent on development, it probably would have been a fantastic game.

The world is going to smell very different once electric vehicles become commonplace

"Smart" is the new "2000" of lame product naming.

Someday, someone, somewhere will be the last person to be Rick Rolled. It will be a sad day for humanity.