Schools punish students for poor performance (bad grades, tardiness, etc.) instead of teaching them how to perform better
An octopus with a gun in each hand is one tentacle short of being able to kill a cat
WW1 happened because a dude from Austria got shot. WW2 happened because a dude from Austria didn't get shot.
Cinderella's slipper fell off pretty easily for a shoe that fits her perfectly
The entire contents of the Library of Alexandria could probably fit onto a low-capacity SD card.
Your gut feeling is your body noticing suspicious changes around you but you don’t notice them because they’re so subtle.
People in the year 3000 are going to be talking about how much stuff Futurama predicted
Someday you will probably have milk in your refrigerator that has a later expiration date than you do.
“You look like a million bucks!” is less and less of a compliment every year because of inflation.
A 43 year old professional athlete is considered to be old and over the hill - a 43 year old politician is considered to be young and a still a spring chicken
When someone walks into your room, they make trillions on trillions of atoms move. Those tiny things you can't see are enough to let you "feel" someone disturbing your area and alerting you to their presence.
Out of the billions of people who ever lived, one of them suffered the most agonizing death of us all. So far.
A universally heartbreaking occurrence happens when you think you have one great piece of beef jerky left and it turns out to be that stupid moisture pack.
When a man masturbates, he's essentially re-rolling the dice for his next baby's genes
Capitalism works so hard to get "dollar menus" by exploiting workers. The only reason we need "dollar menus" is because workers are exploited.