Humans are the only animals in Russia that know a kangaroo exists

Whether you believe in astrology or not says a lot more about you than your actual sign does

Stars being so far apart and space travel capped at light speed may be to prevent cross-contamination, like separate cosmic petri dishes.

Millennials are the only generation good at texting with the number pad.

Toddlers are the most consistently violent subgroup of the population.

Papercuts are proof that little things can matter a lot.

Of all the animals that breathe air, humans are probably the only ones who test how long they can hold their breath just for funsies.

Everyone's best skipping stone is underwater.

Gangster rappers are a lot like the fake personas of the bad guys in pro wrestling.

The surface of the smallest organism is technically sterile.

Schools punish students for poor performance (bad grades, tardiness, etc.) instead of teaching them how to perform better

An octopus with a gun in each hand is one tentacle short of being able to kill a cat

WW1 happened because a dude from Austria got shot. WW2 happened because a dude from Austria didn't get shot.

Cinderella's slipper fell off pretty easily for a shoe that fits her perfectly

A bicycle lock without a bicycle is a really informative review.

The entire contents of the Library of Alexandria could probably fit onto a low-capacity SD card.

Your gut feeling is your body noticing suspicious changes around you but you don’t notice them because they’re so subtle.

Somewhere, a tree is growing the wood for your coffin.

It's named Tinder because you want a match.

Blink is the plural of wink.

People in the year 3000 are going to be talking about how much stuff Futurama predicted