"Nice spelling" will most likely never be used in a not sarcastic way

Most people who watch extreme rough porn would never be comfortable acting out that porn in real life

Technically if you fart, you shit your pants. It’s only microscopic shit. But go figure. Shit is shit.

Just like birthdays, everyone has a death day. Every year we pass it by without ever knowing.

Every minute, someone in the world has an orgasm.

If TikTok stared a Russian Roulette challenge, a lot of kids would fucking die.

If asking someone why they're so quiet shouldn't be offensive, then asking why you talk a lot shouldn't be either

Clogging toilets would have been something Andre the giant struggled with everywhere he went

If the “Heartbeat bill” causes mass numbers of women to abstain from sex, the bill would get overturned in a year.

Your parents told you to not talk to strangers, yet here we are.

The word “mirror” would make more sense if it was a palindrome

If pubic hair grew all the way to the tip of the penis, we would not be getting as many BJ's

Dating apps probably hide our most compatible matches in order to retain our business

If water would always taste like 3AM water, soda companies would go bankrupt.

You know you're getting old when there is a past version of yourself you wouldn't almost definitely beat in a fight.

Fire-drills are effective because when a real fire happens the majority of people assume it's a drill and act calm. Calmness is the most important part of evacuation, as it eliminates trampling, overcrowding of blocked exits, and clear thinking.

Flies don't really exist in movies unless they're important to the plot or to annoy someone who's emotionally unstable.

Earthquakes were a lot less dangerous when we didn't have buildings.

Food always tastes better when somebody else makes it

Many women take "girl" as a compliment while many men take "boy" as an belittling insult.

The Joker is a really cool character, but Guys that characterize themselves as The Joker are not.