The most terrifying sound a homeowner can hear is dripping water where there shouldn't be any
Quite often the people who make an effort to show their happiness or success are not happy or successful people.
If you are half of one parent and half of another, go back 20 generations and you are over a million people.
Maybe most rappers are aware their grammar is bad, that’s why they’re always asking if u kno what i’m sayin.
Closing the closet door so monsters won't come out implies that monsters can't open doors
Many family trees are probably really incorrect due to undiscovered cheating.
If a sports league was created that allowed doping, it would have 10x the audience size of its competitors.
The more chopped the animal in your freezer is, the more socially acceptable it gets
No matter how rich or famous you are, when taking a shit on potty, you stoop down to everyone’s level
If horny jail was a real place, it would only make things worse, because you'd be locking horny people up with other horny people
Working out is literally just damaging your body until it decides it needs to rebuild but better, and then repeating.
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One day there will be something even more extreme than vegan and they will shame everyone even vegans and be even more annoying.
We have no idea if we’re closer to the day we were born or to the day we’ll die.
If eating humans was normal, we would probably eat the fingers like we do chicken wings
When a job is advertised as paying between $12 - $15 an hour, it pays $12