If 99% of the people on Earth find you ugly then there a more than 7 Million people who find you beautiful

It’s impossible to carry a watermelon around without seeming either proud or ashamed of it.

A mammogramist is the closest you can get to a Federal Boobie Inspector

Half of the pain you feel when you're at the dentist comes from the sounds.

For drinks, it's really convenient that ice floats and coldness falls down

Someone is the world's best masterbator and that person might not even know it.

Tomato ketchup implies that there are other lesser known types of ketchup.

Ironically, once you become pregnant you ask for all your drinks to be virgin.

Adam and Eve are often depicted as having belly buttons in pictures, but…

It's really weird that the Berenstain Bears named their first son "Brother Bear" while he was an only cub.

People with small penises receive more pleasure per unit dick, due to a higher penis surface area : volume ratio and more concentrated nerve endings.

Fish in the sea don't know what it's like to fall

If you replaced female nipples with male nipples using photo editing software, it can be technically considered SFW.

"resting ur eyes" in the morning after shutting off your alarm is a dangerous game to play

"Don't kid yourself" would make a great condom slogan

Jumping is as useless in real life as it is essential in videogames

Chicken Tinder could be a dating app for nervous and anxious people

one of the laziest things ever named has to be fireplace

Elastigirl can fulfill any fetish Mr. Incredible has

If your date tells you that you're one in a million, she indirectly thinks that there are almost 8,000 people exactly like you

The letter Q doesn’t feel like a mid letter of the alphabet. More like an X, Y, and Z letter.