Since dogs don’t know languages naturally you could train a dog to only respond to elvish and Klingon.

Girls get advice for periods in sex education but guys don’t get advice for stopping random boners

Adult life is hard, but at least we don't have to do P.E anymore.

Acting is a career based entirely on lying as convincingly as possible

If you dropped a tea leaf in the ocean the whole ocean becomes tea, just very very VERY diluted.

At least a little of the Milky Way is milk.

People that refuse to bend or even consider another opinion are what's wrong with the world

The Universe might've already ended, and we're just waiting for it to reach us, like cosmic dominos

There’s nothing worse than feeling something wet, knowing that it shouldn’t be wet.

Basically you just spend your whole life moving stuff around.

Orwell's 1984 was written as a warning, but for too many, turned out to be an instruction book.

Yoda's version of the old joke of "why is six scared of seven" is "why is 5 scared of seven?" Because 6, 7 8

Most of us are a hospital bill away from being broke

Peeling a hard-boiled egg has the potential to be incredibly satisfying or incredibly infuriating.

Since female mosquitoes drink our blood in order to lay eggs, you are technically blood related to a lot of mosquitoes.

If you add a ;) after any normal sentence, it changes the meaning of the sentence completely.

Breaking down what you purchase by how many hours of work you have to do to afford the item is depressing as hell

Condoms are made by humans, for humans, to prevent humans.

The push to make the world more wheelchair accessible could just be a plot by Daleks.

Your bank account can be empty but it will never be full

Humans can’t even live in harmony between each other yet we think extraterrestrial contact would go well