Astonishing that after 4,000 years, simple locks and keys still prevent unwanted entry so effectively.
Human bodies are awful traders: you give them food, they'll give you shit in return
Ibuprofen and caffeine are the drugs of choice when you’re in your 40s.
It's weird how Harry would come back covered in mud from quidditch pratice, considering that's a sport played on flying brooms over a grass field
It's not your fault you're born dumb, but it is your fault if you die dumb
We have sexualized female breasts, but some men have larger breasts than women, and are not sexualized
Vegan meals being more expensive is weird, you pay more for something not to be in it
If no two people are exactly the same, then there is no form of normal, and if there is no form of normal, then everyone is weird.
If cat girls were real they would have cat tongues and give horrible blowjobs.
Trying to explain Olympic sports to a 2 year old makes you question why some of them are sports
If we colonise Mars, every country on Earth will become a 1st world country
Since dogs don’t know languages naturally you could train a dog to only respond to elvish and Klingon.
Girls get advice for periods in sex education but guys don’t get advice for stopping random boners
Acting is a career based entirely on lying as convincingly as possible
If you dropped a tea leaf in the ocean the whole ocean becomes tea, just very very VERY diluted.
People that refuse to bend or even consider another opinion are what's wrong with the world
The Universe might've already ended, and we're just waiting for it to reach us, like cosmic dominos
There’s nothing worse than feeling something wet, knowing that it shouldn’t be wet.