Mountain Dew sounds far more refreshing than it actually is.

Titanic is a film about an old woman talking about some good dick she got from a homeless man in back of stranger's car .

Maybe we forget our dreams so easily because our brain doesn't want to mistake them for real memories later on.

Considering Bruce Wayne owns Wayne Medical and Wayne Pharmaceuticals (which are branches of Wayne Enterprises). Batman is most definitely making bank by beating up criminals.

We used to go ask our neighbors when we needed a stick of butter or a couple eggs. Nowadays it seems almost unheard of to even know who our neighbors are.

It seems unlikely that Fred owned The Mystery Machine. It probably belonged to Shaggy, but Fred had to drive it because Shaggy had his license revoked for possession or a DUI

Using 'half a dozen' instead of 'six' is a good example of how complicated human beings are.

Worse than being disabled is being invisibly disabled.

The posted speed limit is the legally-accepted maximum limit, but the socially-accepted minimum limit.

The game of telelphone as a child shows us how easily information is misinterpreted and miscommunicated from one to another, yet as adults we take what we hear so serious and to the point it's hilarious.

If we are truly alone in the universe, we will never really know.

As the internet has gotten faster we have swapped load times for adds. The internet is as slow as it has ever been.

The skin on your lips is the same type of skin as the skin on your butthole, and the skin on the inside of your cheeks is the same type of skin as the inside of a vagina, so…. Mouth=butt pussy.

Contrary to popular belief Tattoos are one of the most impermanent types of art since it only lasts as long as the person is alive.

Most people may not remember her that way, but Cinderella was a strong female character. She dealt with an abusive family and didn't get trapped in the victimhood mentality.

The real moral of the "Tortoise and the Hare" isn't "slow and steady wins the race," it's "arrogance loses the race."

Crouching repeatedly in video games is probably one of the most recognised and universally accepted gestures of peace.

Mark Twain's lighthearted quip that "everyone talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it" gets increasingly ominous with every year.

Falling asleep is a transition from pretending to fall asleep to no longer pretending.

Given that early humans were vulnerable to predators during sex, at some point in our history premature ejaculation must have been an evolutionary advantage.

Hearing "You're on mute" is embarrassing but not as much as hearing "You're not on mute".