A woman using a dildo is normal and an ok thing but a man using a sex toy is perceived as creepy and sad by most
Since elephants use their trunks to breathe while in the water, they are technically swim trunks.
If there is a hell, it will be having to copy the dictionary using a TV remote and an onscreen keyboard.
While Jeff Bezos is in space he will temporarily not be the richest man on Earth.
Maybe thunderstorms are soothing to us because our early ancestors knew that our predators would not be hunting during one.
When Tony hawk dies, he will go from Tony Hawk Pro Skater to Tony Hawk Underground.
People fear prison, but in reality, prison life in most western countries is a better standard of living than billions of people free in the world have
When Christopher Walken wears custom made shoes, he must be tempted to walk around town humming: “These boots are made for Walken...”
It’s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a mountain lion.
If you’re goofing off on your computer at work, everybody assumes you’re working. If you’re on your phone doing emails at work, everybody assumes you’re goofing off.
When thinking of ghosts in their house, everyone thinks of haunted murder victims, but no one thinks about their deceased pet just chilling with them on the couch
Music is proof you can resonate with millions without anyone actually knowing what you are saying
We spend the first half of our life worrying about the other half and then spend the second half regretting how we spent the first half.
Having people who won't listen to you around is lonelier than having no one
One of the most awkward and unnatural feeling things to be is a passenger in your own car