If parallel worlds really exist, then every movie is based on a true story

If you are a chicken farmer your technically a chicken tender

People will tell you to cut negative people out of your life and then get pissed when you stop hanging around them.

if raccoons are trash pandas, then pandas are bamboo raccoons

When you can’t go to sleep maybe it’s because the dream server is full and you need someone to wake up first

While you write ,00000’ your mind goes: ,12345‘

As a society, we’ve just decided vanilla is the opposite of chocolate.

Being given money for your birthday is the real life equivient of "Pass Go, receive $200".

Hakuna Matata is an elaborate plan to make Simba eat bugs instead of Timon and Pumba

Movies based on true stories make up the largest connected universe in the history of film.

Even if women "came with an instruction book" men wouldn't read it anyway

You cannot predict your next thought, because if you did, you’d already be thinking it.

People who are bad at spelling probably have more secure passwords.

Dogs probably think humans love dog shit. Since we always pick it up.

If you're bi and still single it's like playing on cross platform and still not getting into the server

Technically it's "buck" naked but "butt" naked makes a lot more sense.

The people who curate the internet and remove grotesque videos and images so the rest of us don’t have to watch it are the unsung heroes of the internet.

A programmer programmed the program that programmers use to program

Science is not facts but constant fact checking

Most people will go around the sun more times in their life than around the Earth

The death note can't be sold as a signed copy