Bill Murray earned the career that Chevy Chase thought he was entitled to.

If you constantly feel like the smartest person in the room, you are either a narcissist or you need to find a new room.

Telling people that you're an award-winning author loses all credibility when you reveal that you won your awards here.

Evolution completely got wrong losing your baby teeth at such an early age when you could really use new teeth as an adult

The Hobbit trilogy can be described as ”butter scraped over too much bread”

Couples will have fun arguments about who loves the other more; but the day they find out who really does is usually when the relationship ends.

"Almost infinite" is not even close to infinite.

Letting go of a loved one is hard but sometimes it’s the only way to survive a horrible boating accident.

One day in school, maths got hard and then it never made sense again.

When you walk on slippery surfaces, your brain turns on traction mode.

Everyone knows at least one person that causes you to question the validity of natural selection.

A successful dystopia is one that convinces it’s citizens that is, in fact, a utopia

You don’t remember the vast majority of your own life. All the sleeping, eating, and sitting around you do will add up to years of unretrievable memories

There’s probably amazing archeological discoveries that won’t ever be found because they’re under historical buildings.

Whoever named waterfalls was some lazy person

You have a pretty short window in your life to meet a dog/cat that is older than you are.

Nothing hurts more than telling a joke or asking something and no one replies.

There must be millions of dead potted plants in empty office buildings all over the world.

"boy, oh boy" is for something good and "man, oh man" is for something bad.

Life on Earth is powered by a giant, ancient thermonuclear explosion that is too massive to even properly explode.

Looking in the mirror switches real life from 1st person to 3rd person view.