As you get older, peer pressure turns from more serious issues into seeing your neighbours putting up their Christmas Lights and mowing their lawns

The moral of the Tortoise and the Hare is not “slow and steady wins the race”. It’s “don’t blow your lead by showboating”.

The biggest irony of catcalling is that women would wear less if men didn’t do it

Onions are the bass players of your meals: You don't notice when they're present, you notice immediately when they're absent.

Human intelligence seems almost completely without limit. In both directions.

You can beat cancer as many times as you can, but cancer only has to win once.

It's weird that "underneath" is a word but "overbove" is not.

Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents' job.

As you grow up, your fear of ghosts at night is slowly replaced by robbers and burglaries.

We make things intended for multiple uses, like clothing, out if materials that break down over a few years, while we make things intended for only a single use out of materials that take thousands of years to break down.

Cats and dogs deserve way more credit than humans give them. While they have to endure their owners constantly talking, arguing, crying, singing, etc.with no breaks from it, humans will do whatever it takes to get their cat or dog to be quiet after just a few barks or meows.

We must have missed so many songs that could have been our favorite, because the intro is completely different from the main song

Almost every person who comes to fix something at your house says that the last person who worked on it didn’t have any idea what he was doing.

Technically, all art you see on an electronic device is pixel art

If a country was only inhabited by people with the same mental disorder no one would realize there was a mental disorder.

You could walk 1,000 miles in a small circle and no one would care, but if you walked 1,000 miles in a straight path then it's impressive.

If our sneezes lasted even a second longer, it might not be feasible to safely drive cars

The generation that wanted to ban Harry Potter is mad that their children are getting offended by everything.

You find out who your friends are on moving day.

You can get arrested for peeing in front of other people and then you will be forced to pee in front of other people.

When listening to foreign music, vocals are more like instrumentals because you can't understand them and treat them more for musicality than lyrics