Someone, throughout the history of mankind, has probably drowned in the same water you just drank.
Infertility is hereditary, in that if your parents didn't have kids, you won't either.
Listening to the news is the most efficient way to provoke yourself into unwarranted anger.
If Sally sold shells somewhere else she would have made a greater profit.
If someone actually made a dick enhancement drug no one would believe it because of all the scams before it
The hardest part about going for a haircut is deciding which t-shirt will become the itchy t-shirt
Parenting is a constant state of flux between ‘having all the kids clothes washed and put away’ and ‘having enough coat hangers and drawer space’.
There are tons of innocent people who take a plea deal to go to jail just because their lawyers told them to thinking they would lose the case.
Falling asleep is the only human function you have to pretend to do in order for it to actually happens.
If mermaids were real, they'd likely be fat and full of blubber due to the oceans temperature
It's amusing how people believe we have a moral duty to castrate cats and dogs, but freak out if you suggest doing the same to humans. Humans have done far more damage to earth over just a few years than cats and dogs have over millions of years.
The Big Bang might’ve been a gender reveal for other beings beyond the cosmos as we know it
Seeing as how humans have acquired the evolutionary response to have the penis withdraw into the body during extreme cold suggests: Somewhere in our genetic lineage, someone literally froze their dick off.
Buzzfeed articles all seem as if they are were slapped together by someone who forgot a deadline while procrastinating on another deadline.
If Mars ever does get colonized it will eventually have its own accent