Lilo and Stitch hits different when you start relating more to Nani than to Lilo

Sometimes you're so angry for no reason that you start imagining hypothetical situations that would absolutely piss you off if they really happened, and then get mad about it.

People that tip waiters give greater percentages of their networth than billionaires that donate money to charities

The hardest debates to win are often not against the people that are most knowledgeable, but against the people with the least knowledge on the subject

People celebrating they “successfully got in” a graduate school program don’t realize the most difficult part is to “successfully get out” of a graduate school program

If you watch Groundhog Day backwards it's about a friendly man who relives the same day over and over again until he becomes a cynical, narcissistic weather reporter.

The sky isn't necessarily black at night, it just turns transparent

If professional sports teams could only recruit from their city/state there would probably be a lot more invested in local community programs.

If you are a famous spy then you are terrible at your job.

Abusing a Human is still technically Animal Abuse.

If all vehicles on the road are autonomous, no traffic laws will be broken. Therefore, cities will lose a major source of revenue.

It’s funny that pirates always went around searching for treasure and they never realised that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating along the way...

We could teach crows to pick up small pieces of trash in exchange for food. Have “crow vending machines” around the city.

Getting caught robbing a restaurant can get you years of free meals.

You rarely hear from people who are deeply satisfied in life, probably because they don't feel the need to seek attention and/or tell everybody

The fattest, laziest, most professional way to eat a pizza is to put the box on your lap backwards, open the lid and use it as a bib by tucking it under your chin while you eat.

When a boss does the least amount of work possible for the maximum payment possible, it's considered a smart business move. When an employee does the same, it's considered lazy.

Most natural born citizens would fail their own countries citizenship test.

Cumming is so effective at changing a persons mood, that life had to implement a cool down timer onto it; as to not make life too enjoyable.

Your dog probably hates school or work more than you do

Having a kid ultimately makes you responsible for their death