There’s nothing gayer than caring what another man does with his penis.
Taking a shit at 11:59pm, unless you're a quick pooper, literally is the same shit just a different day.
A lot of serious announcements are probably postponed every year so that they are not mistaken for an April Fool's joke.
At some point the Walmart "greeter" stopped greeting people entering the store and became the "receipt checker" when they try to leave.
Superman wouldn't really have big muscles, since his powers prevent anything taxing them.
Upon entering a friend's house, the location of the parents' room is instinctively known and not entered.
April fools day is the only day of the year people will actually think to check if a story they saw on the internet is real or not.
Most april fool's day pranks only work if you forget it's April fool's day
Life in fact never gave us lemons, we genetically crossbred other fruits to make them. We create our own problems.
If so many kids TV shows stopped telling kids that they're supposed find vegetables disgusting, children would probably eat them without a second thought like anything else.
If IRS agents were paid on commission, poor people wouldn’t get audited any more. Instead, we’d find out how much money is REALLY hidden in offshore accounts
Pants are more suitable for a female body and skirts are more suitable for a man’s body.
Listening to someone who has never done your job and probably couldn’t do your job talk about how you could do your job better is a special, previously unexplored, layer of hell.
If Superman doesn’t need to breathe, only solar radiation. Isn’t he a plant and DC’s version of Groot
The issue isn't that companies need to make money, it's that they keep greedily grasping for every cent possible. We don't hate companies making money, we hate them damning their products in pursuit of it.