Your favorite song randomly playing from your playlist is way more satisfactory than selecting to play the same song.
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It would probably hurt your pride just a little to know that a cannibal didn't finish eating you because they didn't like the way you tasted.
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We think of the 1920s as existing in black and white, but we think of cavemen and dinosaurs as existing in colour.
Vaginas are sometimes referred to as boxes... Penises are sometimes referred to as junk... Boxes are a great place to store your junk...
Companies are purely motivated by money, yet don't want employees purely motivated by money.
Agraculture started 10,000 years ago, you could have made 1000 an hour and made $87,600,000,000 and 6 people would still be richer than you!
April Fools day has been made redundant due to the amount of misinformation you see on the internet posted on a daily basis
The number 9 was the most fun to multiply by when learning multiplication.
A question mark “ ? “ resembles an ear.. like it’s listening for the answer to the question
An average person meets 80,000 people in a lifetime. That's just 0.00102% of the world population. You never meet the remaining 99.999% of the population and just generalize human behaviour and nature based on the 0.001% people you meet.
There’s nothing gayer than caring what another man does with his penis.
Taking a shit at 11:59pm, unless you're a quick pooper, literally is the same shit just a different day.
A lot of serious announcements are probably postponed every year so that they are not mistaken for an April Fool's joke.
At some point the Walmart "greeter" stopped greeting people entering the store and became the "receipt checker" when they try to leave.
Superman wouldn't really have big muscles, since his powers prevent anything taxing them.
Upon entering a friend's house, the location of the parents' room is instinctively known and not entered.
April fools day is the only day of the year people will actually think to check if a story they saw on the internet is real or not.
Most april fool's day pranks only work if you forget it's April fool's day
Life in fact never gave us lemons, we genetically crossbred other fruits to make them. We create our own problems.