Old people are cranky because their friends and family are mostly dead and the world is run by babies.

The person who discovered the blue whale, the largest animal ever to have existed, really thought the colour was the really interesting part about it

Teaching children to cook is a survival necessity

Being heavily interested in sports is as nerdy as being heavily interested in Dungeons and Dragons

Dora isn't an explorer because she only visits the mapped places in her map.

Your favorite song randomly playing from your playlist is way more satisfactory than selecting to play the same song.

It’s upsetting the word palindrome is not itself a palindrome.

It would probably hurt your pride just a little to know that a cannibal didn't finish eating you because they didn't like the way you tasted.

We think of the 1920s as existing in black and white, but we think of cavemen and dinosaurs as existing in colour.

Vaginas are sometimes referred to as boxes... Penises are sometimes referred to as junk... Boxes are a great place to store your junk...

Companies are purely motivated by money, yet don't want employees purely motivated by money.

Agraculture started 10,000 years ago, you could have made 1000 an hour and made $87,600,000,000 and 6 people would still be richer than you!

April Fools day has been made redundant due to the amount of misinformation you see on the internet posted on a daily basis

The number 9 was the most fun to multiply by when learning multiplication.

A question mark “ ? “ resembles an ear.. like it’s listening for the answer to the question

An average person meets 80,000 people in a lifetime. That's just 0.00102% of the world population. You never meet the remaining 99.999% of the population and just generalize human behaviour and nature based on the 0.001% people you meet.

There’s nothing gayer than caring what another man does with his penis.

Glitter is a mashup of “glorified” and “litter”

Taking a shit at 11:59pm, unless you're a quick pooper, literally is the same shit just a different day.

A lot of serious announcements are probably postponed every year so that they are not mistaken for an April Fool's joke.

At some point the Walmart "greeter" stopped greeting people entering the store and became the "receipt checker" when they try to leave.