Had Romeo and Juliet not killed themselves, they probably would have ended up divorced in a few years anyways.

If you drew a dick on a vampires face they would never find out.

People sentenced to house arrest last year really lucked out timing wise

Superheroes are lucky that every threat to humanity speaks fluent English

There has been a significant number of medicinal breakthroughs for mice, but none of them have been shared with the general mouse population.

You probably did some weird shit in other people's dreams.

Some people can't get enough sleep because they're stressed out about not getting enough sleep.

If People fact checked and analysed each bit of news/statements as much as they did on April 1st, then our society wouldn't be suffering from the problem of Fake News and misinformation.

Windshield wipers would work better if they were built like radio volume knobs. It'd be better to choose the correct rate of wipey-ness rather than be stuck between weak sauce and fury rage...

Old people are cranky because their friends and family are mostly dead and the world is run by babies.

The person who discovered the blue whale, the largest animal ever to have existed, really thought the colour was the really interesting part about it

Teaching children to cook is a survival necessity

Being heavily interested in sports is as nerdy as being heavily interested in Dungeons and Dragons

Dora isn't an explorer because she only visits the mapped places in her map.

Your favorite song randomly playing from your playlist is way more satisfactory than selecting to play the same song.

It’s upsetting the word palindrome is not itself a palindrome.

It would probably hurt your pride just a little to know that a cannibal didn't finish eating you because they didn't like the way you tasted.

We think of the 1920s as existing in black and white, but we think of cavemen and dinosaurs as existing in colour.

Vaginas are sometimes referred to as boxes... Penises are sometimes referred to as junk... Boxes are a great place to store your junk...

Companies are purely motivated by money, yet don't want employees purely motivated by money.

Agraculture started 10,000 years ago, you could have made 1000 an hour and made $87,600,000,000 and 6 people would still be richer than you!