Car salesmen always advertise how fast a car can go from 0 to 60mph, but the important question is how fast it can go from 60 to 0mph.
The eye is simultaneously the creepiest, and the most beautiful part of the body.
You can go from a random nobody to a completely trustworthy person just by putting on a cheap orange work vest.
Lose one finger, you're down one appendage. Lose three more fingers, you're down four appendages. Lose that arm and suddenly your back to having only one missing appendage.
Google spends millions of dollars to make ads customised to our taste but the only thing these ads do is piss us off.
People who jog on the roads in the dark, wearing dark clothing and no lights or reflectors are a unique combination of a person who cares about their health and well-being and doesn’t care about their health and well-being.
If you watermark your nudes in different ways, and they get leaked. You’d be able to know who did it
It's pretty convenient that Superman landed on a planet with people that are identical to Kryptonians.
Browsing any streaming service has really become like opening the refrigerator for snacks; you look through, leave, lower your standards, go back and repeat it until something looks adequate to you.
Hating yourself for being lazy and not wanting to be productive because you hate yourself is a nightmare of a cycle
As a kid, having $100 and nothing else made you feel rich... as an adult, having $1000 and nothing else makes you feel broke
Tits, Boobies, and Hooters probably became euphemisms for breasts after somebody got caught peeping and claimed he was bird watching.
Being able to effectively communicate with people who are dumb is a very smart skill to have
Being lazy is awesome but the result sucks. Working out sucks but the result is awesome
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The invention of the wheel was no big deal. It was the invention of the axel that really got things rolling.
In the Cars universe, crash test laboratories could be used for capital punishment.
Referring to yourself as “the greatest generation” Is an outright admission that you failed at being a parent.