if everyone was allergic to nuts there wouldn't be nut allergy. We would've just said 'nuts are poisonous.'
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Nothing discourages a self-respecting person's generosity more than a selfish person's greed.
Saying “Liar liar, pants on fire” to someone who has lied makes you a liar as well since the other persons pants are, most likely, not actually on fire.
When teachers let us bring a "cheat sheet" into an exam, we eagerly reviewed the notes to fill up the sheet as much as possible. They were just tricking us into studying.
Cinderella must have had some fucked up feet if her glass slipper didn't fit ANY other girl in the kingdom
When all cars are eventually electric, step on the gas will sound the same to kids as hang up the phone.
After watching the Wizard of Oz and Willy Wonka, there are a statistically abnormal amount of little people with songs already prepared for when someone dies
Teenage boys aren’t represented in TV or movies. It’s either a cute little kid or a 20 something playing a teen.
Car salesmen always advertise how fast a car can go from 0 to 60mph, but the important question is how fast it can go from 60 to 0mph.
The eye is simultaneously the creepiest, and the most beautiful part of the body.
You can go from a random nobody to a completely trustworthy person just by putting on a cheap orange work vest.
Lose one finger, you're down one appendage. Lose three more fingers, you're down four appendages. Lose that arm and suddenly your back to having only one missing appendage.
Google spends millions of dollars to make ads customised to our taste but the only thing these ads do is piss us off.
People who jog on the roads in the dark, wearing dark clothing and no lights or reflectors are a unique combination of a person who cares about their health and well-being and doesn’t care about their health and well-being.
If you watermark your nudes in different ways, and they get leaked. You’d be able to know who did it