The fact that bodies decompose and rot after they die just shows how much our bodies do to keep us alive from contaminates.

Overthinking something is just your own mind gaslighting itself

The world's greatest masseuse will never get the world's greatest massage

Happiness is a drug, your brain is a drug dealer, and your life situation and your thoughts are the currency he accepts.

Clark Kent is probably uncircumcised unless they somehow acquired kryptonite tools

The Earth is a battle royale game between all species, but humans discovered friendly fire is enabled so they're all trolling

Western people condemn some Asians for eating dogs because we think they’re cute, while we eat 60 million metric tons of a sacred animal to a major population every year

Life is a game where you get so deep into the side quests you forget the main quest.

Villains would win a lot more often if they’d just set the bomb timer 1 second shorter

We have a generation of adults, thankful their teen years weren't online, publically shaming and sharing their parenting journey/minors lives online.

Lighting a candle you bought is watching your money burn.

We make fun of poor / white trash / redneck / hillbilly etc. by saying they are "inbred". But the richest most power people on the planet (royalty, nobility, etc.) have been inbreeding on purpose for centuries.

If you put an Alexa on top of a roomba, you would basically have a prototype of Rosie from the Jetsons.

Asking a friend out is the "double or nothing" option.

No amount of intelligence can stop an overly emotional person from making unintelligent decisions.

People think cellular towers disguised as trees all look fake, but they’ve only noticed the fake-looking ones.

"DING! DING! DING!" Has more effectively gotten people to wear seatbelts than actual laws.

One day you'll buy a food item which has a longer expiration date than your own

Because people sound better in their heads, imagine how good Samuel L Jackson must sound in his head.

We live in an era in which the masses are knowingly manipulated and no one seems to care.

If the Eye of Sauron had been two eyes, he probably would have had the depth perception to know how far away his enemies were.