Genies spend eternity inside of lamps, so if you found a lamp with a genie in it, it probably wouldn’t speak any modern language

Since vampires can’t see their reflection, the invention of digital camera and front view cell cameras would’ve resulted in a huge step forward in vampire beauty routines, ultimately helping them blend in much better.

If you go on a run every day and it causes you to lose weight then technically speaking you are running your ass off

The "over here" whistle sound (reer-reet) and "hey good looking" whistle sound (reet-reer) are the same sounds, just in a different order.

People complain about how useless is to know that "the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell", but all people thinking crystals give them energy proves otherwise

It’s pretty ironic that Spider-Man works for a newspaper company considering people kill spiders with them

Hal from Malcolm in the Middle has been arrested more times than Walter White from Breaking Bad.

The older you get the less willing you are to deal with shitty friends.

Cats can see 6 times better in darkness than humans, so when we turn off the lights in a room and start fumbling they must think we suddenly turned idiots

Physical pain worsens when you pay attention to it but mental anguish starts to lessen when you acknowledge it.

Whoever started "rock, paper, scissors" probably never would've imagined it being a generational game and decision making tool.

When friends you introduce to each other get romantically involved and they complain to you, you become their customer support.

People with higher body mass are literally more attractive than people with lower body mass.

As you age, your body either hurts because you take care of it or hurts because you don't.

Even if you work for McDonald's, your parents can still brag that you work for a Fortune 500 company

If you've ever seen the state of a mechanic's car, imagine the state of a therapist's mind.

If you're bad with text responses, and people still try to talk or hangout, congrats you have some people that really care about you

Humans give plant genitalia as a gift hoping to receive human genitalia in return.

If humans evolved from apes, it’s possible that in another few million years there are self-aware, language speaking species that evolved from cats, dogs, chickens, etc.

Video games, the internet, and smartphones were all invented by a generation that played outside as children

Although there are dozens of different planets in the Star Wars movies/series they all seem to have the same gravitational pull.