Getting a boob in your mouth to make you stop crying shouldn't stop being a solution when you're not a baby anymore.

When you bite your cheeks on accident they sometimes swell and then you’re stuck in an infinite loop of biting your already bitten cheeks

When you die of old age, you’ve overdosed on life.

Someone really is the nicest person you'll ever meet.

There are probably easter eggs sprinkled throughout the Pixar universe for unknown movies which never actually made it to theaters

To an ant, a Ring Pop is far more valuable than a diamond ring.

A waterfall and a firefly are linguistic opposites but not physical opposites

No properly important postal mail has ever had “important, open immediately” written on it. Only junk Mail.

Having health insurance is slowly beginning to feel like a status symbol.

It's very insecure for game developers to not show actual gameplay in their ads.

When self-driving vehicles become mainstreamed; we will get a Country Music song about a man whose truck left him.

Good dads are hard to find. Bad dads are very hard to find.

Genies spend eternity inside of lamps, so if you found a lamp with a genie in it, it probably wouldn’t speak any modern language

Since vampires can’t see their reflection, the invention of digital camera and front view cell cameras would’ve resulted in a huge step forward in vampire beauty routines, ultimately helping them blend in much better.

If you go on a run every day and it causes you to lose weight then technically speaking you are running your ass off

The "over here" whistle sound (reer-reet) and "hey good looking" whistle sound (reet-reer) are the same sounds, just in a different order.

People complain about how useless is to know that "the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell", but all people thinking crystals give them energy proves otherwise

It’s pretty ironic that Spider-Man works for a newspaper company considering people kill spiders with them

Hal from Malcolm in the Middle has been arrested more times than Walter White from Breaking Bad.

The older you get the less willing you are to deal with shitty friends.

Cats can see 6 times better in darkness than humans, so when we turn off the lights in a room and start fumbling they must think we suddenly turned idiots